Maybe I’m Nuts but…I just don’t know what to think about the state of fans (mostly football fans) at sporting events sometimes. Oh, I understand getting behind your team but, really, sometimes I just scratch my head in shear wonderment.

   The Packers are really to blame for the whole headgear thing. Cheese heads. They’re all adorning themselves with a wedge of cheese. Okay…but…doesn’t ANYBODY in Greenbay like Gouda? What exactly IS that cheese they wear? It looks like Cheddar but it has holes like Swiss. SURELY there must be 1 nacho fan there SOMEWHERE. Of course (while you never see it on TV) I do understand those in the pricey skybox suites ARE capping themselves with Brie.
    This spectacle no doubt led to Nebraska fans to concoct over-sized foam rubber ears of corn (Thankfully, the Huskers changed their name to Cornhuskers from Bug Eaters back in the late 1800’s) as THEIR fashion statement on game days.  At least they wear them horizontally.  

Go Kiss a Tree (why don't ya?)

Maybe I’m nuts but…I’ve doing some thinking recently regarding Druids. Yeah, I know, but really, I think they deserve at least SOME thought and I’ve never actually come across anyone who brings them up in conversation or polite company so…

 

I was prompted into this line of thought while hiding in the dark waiting for a couple of door to door Jesus salesmen to saunter on over to my neighbor’s house. I would have let them in but, I already had plenty of Jesus and couldn’t see the need to resupply at that moment. I ran out of Fuller Brushes YEARS ago but Fuller Brush salesmen NEVER come by (at dinner time or any other for that matter) but if they DID…I would let them in.

Anyway, from my secreted position (behind the side of the fridge) while I swear I could actually HEAR my dinner getting cold, I wondered…Did Druids ever say grace before they ate? (I’ll wonder what I want…YOU wonder what YOU want) It quickly became apparent that this deep topic was much more beer worthy than dinner worthy and since the beer was as cold as my dinner, I made an executive decision, and began to do a little research.

When Animals...Spy

  Maybe I’m nuts but…can anybody tell me what the hell is wrong with a vast majority of the Middle East? I’m not asking in a general or somewhat rhetorical sense…I mean…WHAT THE HELL???

   From time to time, we are  subjected to “news” stories regarding either Israel, or, “the west” spying on Saudi Arabia, Egypt and Iran. No, don’t get me wrong, I think we SHOULD be spying on them, every day. We have satellites that can take pictures of a gnat sitting on the wing of a fly resting on a lump of goat poo from geosynchronous orbit. We, and when I say “we” I mean “the west” and our friends in Israel, we have microphones that can distinguish between a mouse fart and sand being sat on at a distance of 23.659 miles. And GOD knows we (see above) have weapons which can, with surgical precision, eliminate whoever just sat in the sand without disturbing either the poo OR the fly (gnats are notoriously skittish) after being launched from an altogether different hemisphere.

   Soooo…in Egypt, a while back, they decided that a couple of shark attacks were certainly the work of…wait for it…Israel. Yep, those diabolical Israel shark trainers must CERTAINLY have trained a white tipped shark to wreak havoc in one of Egypt’s most traveled too resorts. What the hell???

   Okay… recently, the world was enlightened once again, this time, by Saudi Arabia. It seems the avian division of Mossad ( if you don’t know Mossad, watch NCIS…David, pronounced DaVeed is Mossad…and she’s hot) anyway, the avian division of Mossad has sent in their TOP field agent to do a little high level spying from the sky. That agent, according to Saudi officials who must surely be smarter than Mossad (though nowhere near as hot if DaVeed is any indication) captured and arrested…yep…a VULTURE.